I’m sure you’ve been told “Don’t let the baby fall asleep at the breast – they’ll get a bad sleep association and then you’ve made a rod for your back!”
So, lets unpack this myth around breastfeeding to sleep because guess what? It is actually not a bad thing.
Firstly, babies need sucking to help calm and reassure themselves, to make them feel good and to fill up their cup of love! (Read “How to get rid of the dummy?” https://www.baabaababy.com.au/blog/2021/3/27/2qd8zyzzwmz5r4d4k6egrp2nkwl15l ) This is one of the first strategies that a Mum will use to calm her baby when no other method of settling seems to work.
Secondly, (the other bit of information that we don’t hear about), there are many hormones in breast milk to help the development of the baby. One of these hormones is Oxytocin (the love hormone) which has multiple uses including making your baby sleepy! Huh??? So, baby’s falling asleep at the end of a breastfeed is normal. And guess what? This hormone makes you sleepy too!! That’s why when you’re breastfeeding you start to feel lethargic and tired – it’s your body telling you that you also need to nap after the breastfeed to recouperate and be gentle to yourself. This is such an important job to do – so, look after yourself, take it easy – so you can give the best to your baby.
it’s normal for your baby to fall asleep whilst feeding
Where does the guilt come from that tells us not to let our baby fall asleep at the breast? From misinformed, well intentioned “health professionals” who have no idea about baby sleep, but still put pressure on Mums.
Thirdly, development affects whether or not your baby will fall asleep at the breast. Initially in the newborn phase, almost every feed will result in the baby asleep at the breast - those early few weeks when the baby is eating and sleeping on repeat.
Then after the third week the baby “wakes up” It’s like they needed that time to recover from the birth, just like their Mum. Then after a while the feeding can become a way to soothe and relax your baby in preparation for a sleep. Some days we’ll misjudge the timing or miss the baby’s tired signs (https://www.baabaababy.com.au/blog/tiredsigns) so when the baby is having their next breastfeed, they end up falling asleep!
As the baby gets older, around the 3rd month they are more likely to get distracted while breastfeeding and will pull off and on throughout the feed. Because they are more “wired” at this age sleep also becomes difficult to fall into. Mums then start to search for ways that will be successful 9 times out of 10 in getting their baby to sleep and guess what? Breastfeeding or sucking the dummy is the answer!
“Babies are creatures of habit and they love routine”
Inadvertently we are confirming to the baby that this is how you go to sleep. Babies are creatures of habit and they love routine, so as we do the bedtime routine in repeat (read – breastfeeding to sleep), this becomes their norm and if we dare try and change it the baby complains because “this is not what we do!” Plus, this is the most difficult thing to experience – hearing your baby cry and be upset. So as they start to increase their intensity in crying, we quickly abandon changing what we normally do and go back to what we were doing before, which again reinforces baby’s bedtime routine.
It’s only when parents are at breaking point of waking multiple times a night (to use the breastfeeding to resettle) that they decide “things have got to change!”
So, let me ask you this – is your baby falling asleep at the breast? Is this an issue for your family? If it’s not, then life is good – it’s only a problem if you see it as a problem!
Thank you to @laine_tribes (thumbnail image) and @hilarywalkerphotography (breastfeeding image)
